I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
