question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
