i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
