Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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