Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
