I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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