The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
