Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
