So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
