my phone needs a breathalizer
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
