question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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