Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Michael Bay diarrhea
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Randomize
