:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
