I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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