Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
