What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Randomize
