exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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