I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I think people are normalizing furries
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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