Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Randomize
