i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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