ya dads aren't the best wingmen
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
