i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
