Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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