You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
