Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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