so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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