I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
