you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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