You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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