I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
