I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
