Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
