Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
