You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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