I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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