What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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