Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
