She said her name was "party"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
