Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
