Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We need to get me chipped asap
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