Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
