No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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