Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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