i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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