does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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