Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
