i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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