Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
