I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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