There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
should my penis look like a turkey
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
