yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's blow job season.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
